6 Reasons Why Marital Bliss Does NOT Exist
I’m not saying that Happy married couples do not exist. They do, but how often do they actually stay that way for very long. I’m not even married yet and I’m thinking like this. It’s gotta tell you something. No, in all actuality it’s just telling you all that Reese is stressed out and overworked. That’s what it all really boils down to. But will we, as married couples be eternally happy? I think not. Listen closely. I’m not a pessimist. Repeat. I’m not a pessimist. I’m not sitting here telling you that all marriages will not work out. Hell, I’m not even married yet. Who am I to tell YOU? I’m not going to sit behind my computer chair and scare all the Newlyweds or those who are engaged like myself. Instead, I will simply point out the flaws of Marital Bliss and then maybe a few pointers on how to avoid them or ways to make it work.
Love Is All We Need
False. A happy marriage needs many other things than just Love. While unconditional love can work wonders with children and pets, it simply doesn’t cut it when it comes to a marriage. If we continue to raise our children thinking that marriage is all happiness and butterflies then the world will be a very big delusional place. A happy and healthy marriage cannot survive based solely on love.
Tell it Like it Is
Yet again, False. Here’s where I, as well as thousands of other men and women, go wrong every time. Talk show doctors are constantly telling us that we need to “Tell it like it is” and be brutally honest. This is false. Sometimes we cannot differentiate what’s supposed to be said, and what should just be left unsaid. We also fail to realize how to say things sometimes. This is actually where I went wrong most recently. I told her I was in a shitty mood for most of yesterday before work, which is why nothing got done around the house. BIG MISTAKE. She then asked why, so i began to tell her. I told her everything i had said in yesterday’s post. She got pissed off and I probably shouldn’t have said things the way I did.
People on this planet are from all different cultural backgrounds. Be it of Spanish descent, African-American descent, Asian descent, or whatever have you. What we were taught was morally right as kids will differ greatly when it comes to the different ethnic backgrounds. Which can become a problem since views on certain topics will remain very different. For instance, Reese was raised in a prominent Hispanic community in Los Angeles, CA, so her views on what they should be doing with illegal immigrants are much, much different. Living in America, I find that people can be very racist towards any race but the “White” race. While I am a Caucasian marrying a Hispanic, I’ve learned to be less ignorant. But we still have our problems, as will all couples.
Most couples have the undying notion that they need to equally put in 50 percent, or meet halfway. This isn’t always necessarily true. We cannot expect our partner to give as much as we do all the time. It’s just not fair. When we begin to EXPECT things of one another, things can go downhill when our expectation are not met. This doesn’t mean we should be lazy and not give it our all. Just know that it is okay not to meet halfway all the time. I’ve been with Reese for nearly 7 years and not once have gotten angry because she wasn’t pulling her weight in the relationship. If I did, I would be a hypocrite. There are many times where I don’t put as much into the relationship as she does, but on that same note, there are many times where she doesn’t as well. This is just something that needs to be overlooked from time to time.
The Blame Game
Oftentimes we find ourselves searching for someone to blame for our own faults. Other times we find ourselves getting blamed for something we couldn’t prevent, something that was simply out of our reach. Another HUGE downfall in marriages these days. We cannot blame one another for everything. Sometimes we just need to suck it up and take the blame and move on. “It’s all your fault, if you would’ve just cleaned up a bit, like I asked you to, this fight never would’ve happened.” While that statement may be true, there are better ways to get the outcome you desire. Take a deep breath, think about how to convey what you’re really feeling, so you don’t come off as a huge meanie, and talk about what happened and what you would have rather happened. This ties in with the “Tell it Like it Is” failure I mentioned before.
I saved this one for last because not everyone is comfortable talking or even reading about it. It’s something that needs to be talked about though. Everyone has their own opinion about how often sex is necessary to them. Most men will agree that sex would be great at least once a day, but the sad fact is that most married couples in America only have sex 118 times a year, while globally the number is at 127*. Unless you’ve forgotten, there are 365 days in the year. Furthermore, what this statistic is showing us is that a married couple will have sex once every 3 days. This is just on average. Sure there are people who are doing it every night, but that also means that there are many couples out there that are only doing it once a week. Studies show that not only is sex good for healthy relationships since it improves intimacy, but it also has it’s own health benefits. Those include, but are not limited to: relieving stress, losing weight, boosts immunity, boosts self esteem, and reduces risks for prostate cancer**
I may have started out on a pessimistic note, but I ended on a good one. I’ve helped myself out in a way. That’s what this is partly about isn’t it? A means for self-help? While I’ve helped myself, and that is what I’ve come here to do, I am also here to share what I know. So, someday, someway, I hope I have helped someone with this article.
What do you think is the #1 reason for why marital bliss hardly exists?
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