Live, Love, Hope


Live, Love, Hope…
Hope that you’ll never
have to go through
what I have
and most certainly
others have.
Live your life
like tomorrow may not come
for no one truly knows
if it will or not.
Love the one’s
who share your love
even those who don’t.
For how they feel
you may never know
if you keep your doors
shut.

It’s 11:01 am. I’ve now been up for 24 hours. I need sleep, this is true, but I don’t regret the time spent awake.

Recently, a co-worker of mine had passed away. He was related to a few of my other co-workers, and frankly, he was like extended family to me, even though we didn’t speak the same language. They had his viewing last night between 12am-3pm. It had to be that late because all the people where I work wanted to see him, and they couldn’t exactly close shop. My boss had called up a taxi to bring a van to drive us, all 15 of us, to the viewing which was in Brooklyn(an hour and a half from where I work without traffic.)

Now, when we got there, I was the only person present that didn’t speak fluent Spanish. I felt really bad because of this, but I couldn’t let it bring me down further than I already was. I knew they understood why I was there and they respected that. They didn’t care if I was able to communicate with them through words or not. When someone passes away, you don’t need to speak words to understand the pain that is conveyed. It’s communicated for you. You’re all there for the same reason: to pay your last respects to someone who you cared about, otherwise you wouldn’t be there.

I didn’t cry when I saw the 25-year old laying in the casket. I guess it might have been either because I wasn’t close enough to him, or maybe that I have cried enough mournful tears in these past 6 years to last me a decade. All together, it’s the 4th funeral I’ve been to in almost 6 years. That’s more than some people ever attend. I know it’s more than most people under 40 attend. 3 out of the 4 people who have passed away in my life were far too young to have left this world. Although, they didn’t choose to go. God did. Whether you believe in God or not, there is only one person who can choose whether it’s your time to go, and that’s the Big Man upstairs.

The first was my uncle. He was only in his 50’s when he passed on. It hurt me so bad. I cried for days. He was like a father figure to me growing up. He has taught me more life lessons than any other man, except one. My grandfather, who passed away 4 months after my uncle. This was far too early in my life to lose two of my role models. I was 18 then, fresh out of high school. I understand that there are people who lose their mothers and fathers when they are under 10 years old. I’m not trying to compete with anyone here.

A year later, a very close friend of mine was stationed out in the mid-west with the Marine Corps when I received news that he was joy riding with a few friends, not wearing a seat belt, when they got into a fatal car accident. Now, I’m not going to get too graphic, I really don’t want to ruin anyone’s day. I was doing okay at the viewing, I didn’t cry. I was trying to be manly about things. Since he was in the Marines, and his father was a State Trooper, he had a 3 Volley Salute, which is often used for military or police funerals. Now, I’ve always wanted to witness the 3-volley salute, but I never thought I would’ve witnessed it in such circumstances. When the first set of 7 guns went off, I started to bawl my eyes out. Maybe the shock of the guns firing let my emotions free, I don’t know.

30 Days of Truth

Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.

My grandmother and grandfather had to witness the burial of their son. My grandmother had to witness the burial of her husband for over 50 years. My good friend’s father had to witness his youngest son’s burial. I would not wish this upon anyone. but I most certainly hope that I will never have to bury my future son before myself.

(1) Something you hate about yourself. (2) Something you love about yourself. (3)Something you have to forgive yourself for. (4) Something you have to forgive someone for. (5) Something you hope to do in your life. (6) Something you hope you never have to do. (7) Someone who has made your life worth living for. (8) Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. (9) Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. (10) Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.(11)Something people seem to compliment you the most on.(12)Something you never get compliments on. (13) A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) (14)A hero that has let you down. (letter) (15)Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. (16)Someone or something you definitely could live without. (17) A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. (18) Your views on gay marriage.(19) What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?(20)views on drugs and alcohol. (21) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? (22)Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.(23)Something you wish you had done in your life. (24) Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)(25) The reason you believe you’re still alive today. (26) Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? (27) What’s the best thing going for you right now? (28)What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? (29) Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. (30) A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself .

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