A South Philly Indoctrination


Recently, I reached the milestone of 3,000 views. To celebrate, I’ve asked renowned blogger The Idiot, to do a guest post. Heck, who am I kidding, I was too busy playing Call of Duty: Black Ops(PS3) after class today and couldn’t muster up a blog post so I brought in an equally substantial replacement. Thanks Mark!

Hey everyone, this is Mark from THE IDIOT SPEAKETH. I have been asked by Tony to write a short guest post for his great blog. A few years ago, I would have thought there was no way I would ever be doing a favor for Tony. You have to go back and understand how we came to meet.

I am a die-hard Philadelphia ANYTHING fan and was in my favorite watering hole in South Philly one night back in 2008. A large group of us were watching the Eagles crush the Cowboys when a this knuckle-dragging Neanderthal wearing a New York Giants came waltzing into the bar. This Yahoo proceeded to drunkenly climb up onto a table and began loudly yelling his obsessive devotion to everything New York related. He was spouting off about Eli Manning being the best QB in the NFL, how the New York Knicks were God’s gift to Basketball, and how he himself would happily date A-ROD if the Yankee slugger would give up on all the bubble-headed Hollywood starlets.

Of course, within seconds, we hauled Tony down off the table and proceeded to beat the daylights out of him in true South Philly style. Of course, the cops responded, we were all arrested, and it was in the holding cell of the local Police Precinct that we began the long process of deprogramming this brainwashed goof and began to indoctrinate him into the glorious world of everything Philly. After repeated beatings and water-boarding, I think we were finally successful. I no longer live in that area so I can not be totally sure, so his wife might want to check his closet for any signs of a Derek Jeter jersey or Eli Manning’s old jockstraps.

 

Here's Tony's Mugshot

 

Congrats on the blog Tony! Here’s to a long blogging career! Go Eagles!

PS. That’s not actually me, but it almost looks like me.

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Comments
2 Responses to “A South Philly Indoctrination”
  1. Heart says:

    I don’t know whether to BOO you or to cheer you.. 😦 BOO because you beat Tony’s living day lights (and he still thinks you are worthy of guest blogging on his site ..) !
    And cheer because you finally presented Tony to us, he has been getting away with mugshots of others, this is our only chance to see him.. 😉
    Good luck guys!!
    🙂

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